Comic Sans by Jordan Castillo Price

Author:Jordan Castillo Price [Price, Jordan Castillo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: JCP Books LLC
Published: 2022-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

10

Turned out the “Safe” in Safe Keeping wasn’t just an adjective. It was a noun. A big-time noun. As in, an-entire-wall-made-of-random-safes noun. One side to the other and floor to ceiling, side by side and stacked bottom to top, a plethora of safes spanned the entire far wall. There were big safes and small safes. Tall safes and wide. There were spinner dials and key-operated gizmos. Every possible form of safe, meticulously arranged in a huge installment that fit so tightly, you wouldn’t be able to sneak so much as a credit card between them.

Judging by the shape, they were clearly gleaned from various different sources, from lockers at the old train station to the tiny in-room valuable holders at the defunct Pinyin Inn. But it took me a second to register just how different they all were. Not because I was still a little loopy from the contact cement (though, truthfully, I did find myself having to suppress the odd unprovoked giggle) but because they’d all been given a fresh coat of off-white spray paint.

So fresh, in fact, that the guy doing the painting was just finishing up the very last row.

And wow, that propellant was just as heady as the adhesive fumes.

“Good day and toasted marshmallows,” I announced…not exactly sure what I meant by that, but figuring if I just rolled with it, eventually it would all circle back around at some point. “Battleships melting in the spectacular show of shenanigans.”

“Stop painting!” Yuri barked.

The guy with the spray can swung around, and we saw it was none other than Brad the Cad. Not only had that sleazy guy made me look bad as a WheelMeal driver, but he’d tried to con us into signing a bad lease with Spellcraft!

“How dare you use a quill to scribble me into the corner of the vast nothingness of the universe which is actually made of cream cheese and poppy seeds…wow a bagel would really hit the spot right now….”

“Come here.” Yuri caught the back of my jacket and pulled me against him—so buff!—and wrapped his hand lovingly around my mouth. “We will get some air in a moment.”

“Well,” Brad said loftily. “If it isn’t the pair of busybodies who put an end to the Hunting Party. I’ll have you know that there is not a scrap of Spellcraft on the premises, so if you’re hoping to play Spellcraft police, you’re fresh outta luck. This is a legitimate business serving a legitimate need—and people patronize this shop because they want somewhere to stash their valuables, and no other reason.”

Yuri said, “We are not here for Crafting. We are making a pickup. Nothing more.” He turned to the massive bank of safes as if to punctuate his statement with a dramatic safe-opening, and then stopped in his tracks. “Why are you painting these?”

“Market research shows a fresh paint job instills confidence in a potential customer.”

“But…which one was red?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Brad retorted. “I don’t have time to dwell on a bunch of outmoded data.

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